• I Remember

    I remember monsters under the bed. I remember earthquakes. I remember playing with my neighbor’s Barbie dolls and wondering if they would melt in the drier. I remember wondering if crayons would melt in the drier, too.  They do. I remember Mt. St. Helens and cars covered with ash.  The TV news was showing the mountain exploding, over and over again. I remember when Reagan was shot.  It seemed like the TV was on all the time.  Everyone got quiet when they talked about it.  They whispered about Kennedy, it was one of those things…  “Where were you when you heard the news?”  It’s just something everyone knows.

  • Pain (self-injury)

    I’ve heard it took 49 days for the Buddha to become awakened. It took me a heck of a lot longer than that, and I only touched it for an instant. But I remember that instant. A flash, but not so dramatic. A flash without fanfare, so soft and subtle that it almost didn’t matter, and that meant everything.

  • Little Lion Man – Video

    Depression has crept in on little cat feet.  This song was on the radio this afternoon as we were driving.  Don’t read too much into the lyrics, they didn’t speak to me for any specific reason, just on a sympathetic angst and poetic level.  I also love the music. And their accents are dead sexy.  Not that sexiness is having much luck penetrating the darkness right now.

  • Awe

    do you ever read something so simple and yet profound, something that touches a place inside of you, so deep that you suddenly want to die, because of the beauty of it? maybe that’s just me.

  • Dying

    These are the words of my best friend who has acute leukemia for the third time.  He gave me permission to translate his words to English and to share them here. 

  • Dog Days

    I walk out past the barn, past the sheds, and through the gap in the fence that is old, twisted barbed wire to my left, and old wood plank to my right. Grasshoppers leap up and out of the path of my feet, an unending cascade of dust-brown bodies parting like waves before me. Out of the cascade every so often, one takes flight, bursting from a tight bullet body to a frenzy of black, yellow-tipped wings.