• Empathy and Puritans

    We went away last night so I’m behind a post, but it was totally worth it!  Sir planned it without telling us, he just said on Saturday morning to pack a bag for overnight and we got in the car.  We stayed in a fancy hotel in the mountains, and we hot tubbed and we had an awesome night.  It was really nice.  And we came home today and got some chores done so all that I have to do tomorrow is some grocery shopping and… lesson plans, and we are going to K and J’s house for a barbecue tomorrow.  So… it’s been a good weekend. Sir and I…

  • Weary

    Sir is going to meet with K on Friday night.  He’s going to get beaten.  It’s a thing they do, and… I’ve made peace with it in the past, but this time it’s upsetting me.  Sir and I have talked this through and he wants me to write about it now. I talked to Sub Brother last night about it, too.  And with my therapist today.  And with Sir tonight.  Here’s what I’m clear about…  I don’t want Sir to not go through with it.  I do want to solve my own problem with this so I can be okay with it.

  • Presumption – Rant

    There’s a phenomenon I have observed in the kinkyverse.  In my observation it disproportionately (though not exclusively) affects men (of the dominant persuasion) rather than women (of the dominant persuasion), and it is one of those hot buttons that instantly makes me clench up and want to punch someone in the face.  Fortunately, Sir has the same reaction.  He wouldn’t have me if he didn’t. Here is what it is. A woman who presents as a submissive female (or sometimes even a switch), with a male dominant partner.  Another male dominant will say to the male partner, “You know what you should do…” or “You know if she was MY…

  • Out of Place

    Depression is trying to grab hold of me again today, so I’m fighting it… with all the energy that hasn’t already been sucked into depression. So… mostly I’m sitting here resisting curling up in front of the TV. Hooah! I had a pretty busy week for a summer week when I’m not working, and I think that was good for me in some ways, but it also meant I did a lot less writing than I wanted to, and that I am dragging hard today, so, you know, trying to slither out of writing today, too. So I’m fighting that urge, too.

  • Moments with Sir – Can’t?

    Sir recently discovered that my new blog theme has emoji buttons at the bottom of posts and decided to go through all of my posts and “like” them with the emoji buttons. I found this both silly and mortifying and, without thinking said, “No, you can’t…”  I caught myself and stopped, but… not soon enough. Sir looked at me.  He wasn’t angry, I could see the faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes, but he raised his eyebrow and turned in the office chair to face me fully. “I what?” “Nothing…” “I can’t?”

  • Awakening

    Sir and I played today.  It was an impromptu thing and ended up spreading across three rooms and a hallway before we ended up in bed (we don’t have sex, I mean literally ended up in bed – cuddling and aftercare).  It was a kind of a wild, totally unplanned series of events, and Sir pushed some boundaries that I wasn’t totally sure about, but… it turned out weren’t terrible or scary like I assumed they would be, and ended up being kind of cool and fun… plus I totally feel more like a “real sub” now after my foray into the BDSM porn world.  Not much more, but a…

  • Helpless – SFD

    “Lia…” I set my jaw stubbornly and swipe open the news story.  People shot, politicians, at a baseball practice, government leaders reaching across the aisle to express sympathy, shared calls for unity and humanity. Sir has already warned me twice.  I’m not to be on devices today.  “No screen time,” he said this morning, “You can read, you can clean, you can write, you can lie on the couch and sleep, but no screens.” I had already broken the rule twice.

  • Top Drop

    So… for some of my readers this is going to be S/M 101, sorry…  Most of the readers I know of aren’t super hardcore into the kink scene so I need to make sure I explain terms (if this bores you, of course, do move on…) So, when people “play” heavily, so… that could be physical or psychological/emotional heavy, or, often, both, there is a lot of chemical action in the body and the brain… there is adrenaline and endorphins and all kinds of crazy chemistry mixing up and once the scene is over, either shortly after or even starting a day or two after, the bottom (the one on…

  • Dribble Drabble Black Fire

    It’s been a rough week.  I feel too worn and raw to post about life today.  But I have this stupid every day posting commitment that SOMEBODY thought was a good idea (Nice job ghost of Shadow past…), so I’m going to write a story snippet. I hate this.  I hate sharing writing at all, and even more if it is unprepared writing, but I’m going to post raw writing (cringe) because… just… because… Somewhere in the next chapter of Black Fire…

  • Moments with Sir – Ownership

    This is something I wrote for the list I run… I don’t think I ever published it here.  I think I intended to, but just never felt motivated enough to “clean it up” and make it more neat and tidy for this posting. Then I was talking with my friend S, and telling her about it and I realized I never had shared it here (and thus she hadn’t read it, obviously) and that… it actually illuminates a complicated to explain aspect of my relationship with Sir.  I don’t know if this will uncomplicate it, but it will, hopefully, demonstrate it… Or not…  Meh.  I’m not going to bother cleaning…