Moments with Sir
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Moments with Sir – Can’t?
Sir recently discovered that my new blog theme has emoji buttons at the bottom of posts and decided to go through all of my posts and “like” them with the emoji buttons. I found this both silly and mortifying and, without thinking said, “No, you can’t…” Â I caught myself and stopped, but… not soon enough. Sir looked at me. Â He wasn’t angry, I could see the faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes, but he raised his eyebrow and turned in the office chair to face me fully. “I what?” “Nothing…” “I can’t?”
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Manic – Part 2 – Moments with Sir
For someone’s birthday… since she wants to know… and because I keep fading to black… Sigh. Happy birthday! This is the second half of Manic. *** The fog of dreams gives way to a replay of last night across the back of my eyelids. I groan and throw my arm across my eyes. It does nothing to stop the flood of memory and I pull my pillow over my face. Sir tugs it away and I cover my face with my hands. “What?” I can feel him shift in the bed beside me but I don’t move my hands. “Me!” He shifts again and I feel his fingers close around…
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Manic – Moments with Sir
I slip out of the bed carefully, hoping not to wake Sir or Devin. In the dark I can’t see either of their faces, but I hear no change in breathing, no rustle of movement. I pad, barefoot, across the room. The fan above creaks, sending a steady current of cold air across my bare skin. The door opens silently and I close it again behind me. I grip both rails of the staircase, nervous in the blackness of missing a step and breaking my neck, still mindful of how I place each foot lest the house creak and the subtle shift of energy somehow, metaphysically, stir Sir from sleep.…
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Moments with Sir…and Sub Brother
It’s been pointed out to me by someone recently that I rarely talk about sub brother, while I talk about Sir a lot. And I’ve been thinking about my response to that, and thought about making in a blog post. So during dinner I brought it up to sub brother and asked him if he would feel uncomfortable if I wrote about him on my blog. He gives me a wide-eyed look and asks, “Me? Why do you want to write about me?” “Because, you’re important to me, you’re my partner and my friend and… I write about Sir all the time, but I hardly say anything about you.” “Well,…
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Moments with Sir – Promise
Sir steers me into the kitchen as we are getting ready for bed.  My back is against the refrigerator door, and he stands close to me. He brings my hands up, palms together, between us, holding them between his own hands so he has to speak.  He looks at me for a long time then he says, “I need you to do something for me.” I can’t use my hands either, so I nod and murmur, “Yes, Sir.” “I’m going to ask two questions.  You will be honest.” “Yes, Sir.” “Promise me.” I swallow because I’m getting nervous, but I nod.  “I promise.” He looks down at our hands, then looks…
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Doubts (and Moments with Sir – Pockets)
Last night I said I would post my little moment with Sir. Today I actually was looking forward to it. I cleaned up the kitchen after dinner, got my tea, took my pills and came upstairs to write… And then I sat. I looked at Facebook. I looked at websites. I found a new header image for my blog. I… didn’t write. And when I thought about writing I felt so tired. And I finally realized I felt anxious. I’m so used to the feeling in my gut that sometimes it takes me a long time to realize its there… the tight, cold, clawing of anxiety. A very soft, insidious…
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Moments with Sir – Ownership
This is something I wrote for the list I run… I don’t think I ever published it here. Â I think I intended to, but just never felt motivated enough to “clean it up” and make it more neat and tidy for this posting. Then I was talking with my friend S, and telling her about it and I realized I never had shared it here (and thus she hadn’t read it, obviously) and that… it actually illuminates a complicated to explain aspect of my relationship with Sir. Â I don’t know if this will uncomplicate it, but it will, hopefully, demonstrate it… Or not… Â Meh. Â I’m not going to bother cleaning…