Maintenance
In our conversation I told C that Sir is starting maintenance. He’s planning a week, we’ll see if things are stable by next Wednesday.
C was unfamiliar with the term, and logically associated it with a car. Which, surprisingly, surprised me into laughter. I’m not sure why that association hadn’t already been at the front of my mind. Why I hadn’t anticipated that confusion and made a different choice than use the term without explanation. Another moment of failed awareness in conversation. I’m doing a hell of a job this week.
Maintenance spanking is a thing in some BDSM circles. It’s hotly debated in others. Derided in still others. Doing a quick Google search just to see what another bloggers say about it was a misogyny rabbit-hole that I don’t ever want to explore again. But with the caveat that, of course, it can mean different things and look different ways to everyone.. and THAT’S OKAY… in general terms, “maintenance spanking” or “a maintenance spanking” is a practice of spanking a sub or bottom to remind them of their place, not as a form of punishment. It can be a form of play for some people. For others it’s a separate category. Everyone is different. Kumbaya.
We don’t necessarily do “maintenance spanking”, Sir can spank either of us any time for any reason he wants. We’re TPE (Total Power Exchange). He doesn’t, because… he doesn’t worship at the chaos alter. But he could if he wanted to. So for us, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to delineate a specific type of spanking as “maintenance.” But we did somewhat co-opt the term for our own purposes in that we do have a practice we call simply, “maintenance.”
Typically, maintenance for us is a specific period of time during which there are regular activities which would otherwise be punishment, but they’re not specific to a particular event or behavior. They’re scheduled. They’re daily. They aren’t all spanking-related. They are all done in such a way as to make them unpleasant. Pleasure or play is not the intention. But they are also not punishment.
For me, this week will consist of daily spankings (starting at two a day for three days, then one a day for the remainder of the week). The first day won’t be too bad. The spankings aren’t severe. But what is tolerable in the morning, is going to be more unpleasant 12 hours later, more still 12 hours after that, and so on.
I will also have corner time. I will also have restrictions (phone, internet, Facebook). I will also have strict and earlier than usual bedtimes and more strictly supervised meals.
In a way, I’m grounded. Physically grounded for the purposes of regaining some degree of emotional grounding. Plus forcibly regulated sleep and meals will help all of my other issues.
Adult brain can recognize the necessary restoration of balance in my life and my relationships.
Childish brain is just annoyed.
