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Moments with Sir – Ownership
This is something I wrote for the list I run… I don’t think I ever published it here. Â I think I intended to, but just never felt motivated enough to “clean it up” and make it more neat and tidy for this posting. Then I was talking with my friend S, and telling her about it and I realized I never had shared it here (and thus she hadn’t read it, obviously) and that… it actually illuminates a complicated to explain aspect of my relationship with Sir. Â I don’t know if this will uncomplicate it, but it will, hopefully, demonstrate it… Or not… Â Meh. Â I’m not going to bother cleaning…
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Perspectives
I finished another school year. Â Thank god! Â It was a better year than last year. Â And my transition (I am famously terrible at transitions) has not been terrible. Â I glitched slightly today, but Sir made me stand in the corner (“meditate”) which is his new thing, not as punishment, just as sensory deprivation and forcing me to do some kind of meditation practice. Â
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Saving the shit…
Things have been going rapidly to fertilizer around these parts. Â I’m losing my shit. Â Sub brother got horribly sick (like in bed for ten days) and barely back on his feet and behind at work… and losing his shit.
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Hiding Illness
It’s a bad one this time. Â It comes and it goes… and in between sometimes there’s mania. Â This is a “come.” It’s not like it used to be, where there were no islands of sanity at all. Â I suppose I’m grateful for that…at other times. I was manic. Â Now I’m depressed. Â Vacations are good, but hard on the brain. Â And then my sleep has been rough. Â I’ve been doing everything right, mostly. Â My diet isn’t perfect right now… but compared to normal people, my diet is ridiculously good. Â It’s probably hilarious that I consider it a “bad day” on my diet when I eat tomatoes and put paprika on my…
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Communication
My eating restrictions have abruptly taken a turn towards severe depression and apathy and lack of eating…  Sir sent me to the store on the way home to buy “anything you want to eat, fuck the carbs.”  Once at the store I found this a difficult proposition. This was Sir’s response. We communicate so well… Of course, this is ALL I’ve eaten tonight…  He doesn’t know that, yet. Yay, depression.
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Home Again
I went on vacation for the last week…without Sir and sub brother. Â It was a good trip, even if it was stressful at times. Â Sir patiently responded to my texts and always somehow said the right thing… even though it was technically his vacation time with sub brother… Â He doesn’t delineate that way, but I always do in my head somehow. Anyway, I made it home and I’m transitioning off of being on vacation. Transitioning back to work schedule. Â Having a little disequilibrium. Â Today Sir came home with flowers… Â Aww…
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Fighting Mania
I’ve been seated (by zombies) firmly in front of the computer. Â Sir was not as amused by my crazy inflatable arm man impression as he might have been. Â Possibly because I smacked my hand really hard on the wall and… kept doing it. It’s spring. Â Yes, despite the three fucking feet of snow outside right now, it’s spring. Â Spring means that the amount of sunlight each day is increasing. Â Increasing sunlight is my brain’s signal to GO MANIC! Â WOOOHOO!! Â Seriously, my doctor told me this every year… “The highest number of hospitalizations for bipolar are always in the spring.”
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Broken Toys
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Passive Voice Zombies
Because I’m a grammar nerd (among other nerd categories) I totally love this trick I just heard for identifying passive voice. Â If you can add “by zombies” after the verb in a sentence, that sentence is in passive voice. I was told (by zombies) to write a post in my blog. My car was buried (by zombies) during the blizzard. Isn’t that the greatest?? Â I love it! I may be avoiding writing serious posts right now… Â or is that… Â Writing serious posts is being avoided (by zombies) on this blog right now…
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Pride
I just took my glasses apart and put them back together! Â It took a long time and I was quite afraid that I’d undone them permanently (I couldn’t get the screw to go into the hole straight, then at all… Â That sounds quite kinky, but was actually just annoying and eye-straining…) But I DID IT! Â Now I have new nosepads that aren’t cracked and falling apart… and the arm/ear hook/side piece/thingy is all the way attached (instead of hanging half loose/half off). Though doing it may have actually necessitated a stronger lens prescription… still trying to uncross my eyes…Â I’m ridiculously proud of this accomplishment. It’s the little things in life,…
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Heh…