Panic

I’ve had four panic attacks tonight – each has been worse than the last, and the first was worse than any I’ve had in years.

Right now I’m calm but feel literally wrung… like my body has been twisted and squeezed.

I deleted all of Michael and Ryan’s emails tonight.  I hadn’t been saving them nostalgically, just hadn’t bothered to deal with it… and the few times I’d tried to deal with it, there were too many memories and it was too triggering.

Tonight it was still triggering.

I’m tired.

I hate WordPress.

They have so jacked up my domain transfer.  It’s ridiculous.

Sir says it’s bedtime.

Goodnight, world.

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