• Food

    I got in trouble today. I haven’t really been eating enough. Sir has historically been a little less hands on about my eating, I think, because of my eating disorder and it’s a more delicate area that I think he’s not been as sure of how his role should look in that arena. I guess today he stopped caring about that. It’s three days until the anniversary. Maybe that’s why I’m so sad tonight. Or that I pushed Sir until he got angry and scared. Or that… my health is so messed up and I feel so overwhelmed. Or that… I spent six hours on school work today and have…

  • Bodying

    I’ve been able to eat more the last couple of days… like… soup… and a few pieces of meat.  Which, really, isn’t a lot of food, but after four days of 1 teaspoon of unflavored gelatin… a day… this seems like feasting. My stomach isn’t perfect, but it’s definitely better.  I’m still anxious about eating and still eat small amounts then wait to see if it’s going to hurt, then eat another small amount… I skipped lunch today because I was too afraid that I would eat and then be too sick to teach again like happened last week. But… you know… progress. Except I’ve lost 20 pounds now (not…