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Food
I got in trouble today. I haven’t really been eating enough. Sir has historically been a little less hands on about my eating, I think, because of my eating disorder and it’s a more delicate area that I think he’s not been as sure of how his role should look in that arena. I guess today he stopped caring about that. It’s three days until the anniversary. Maybe that’s why I’m so sad tonight. Or that I pushed Sir until he got angry and scared. Or that… my health is so messed up and I feel so overwhelmed. Or that… I spent six hours on school work today and have…
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Bodying
I’ve been able to eat more the last couple of days… like… soup… and a few pieces of meat. Â Which, really, isn’t a lot of food, but after four days of 1 teaspoon of unflavored gelatin… a day… this seems like feasting. My stomach isn’t perfect, but it’s definitely better. Â I’m still anxious about eating and still eat small amounts then wait to see if it’s going to hurt, then eat another small amount… I skipped lunch today because I was too afraid that I would eat and then be too sick to teach again like happened last week. But… you know… progress. Except I’ve lost 20 pounds now (not…