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Manic – Part 2 – Moments with Sir
For someone’s birthday… since she wants to know… and because I keep fading to black… Sigh. Happy birthday! This is the second half of Manic. *** The fog of dreams gives way to a replay of last night across the back of my eyelids. I groan and throw my arm across my eyes. It does nothing to stop the flood of memory and I pull my pillow over my face. Sir tugs it away and I cover my face with my hands. “What?” I can feel him shift in the bed beside me but I don’t move my hands. “Me!” He shifts again and I feel his fingers close around…
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Imperfect Love
I saw this today on Pinterest. Sometimes it seems that when things are at their darkest, somehow something I need to hear falls in my lap. At least that would be a nice thing to believe about the universe, wouldn’t it?
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Broken Toys
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I am not a switch…
I have said it so many times… I picture myself Nixon-esque in my denial. And maybe equally dishonest… Although not as intentionally as he was.
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Euthanasia
Some times that decision is easier than others. Some times you can look at a situation and it rips your heart out of your chest but you know there is, absolutely, without a doubt, no other course of action but to end it all… Other times… there is doubt. Those are the bitch of a times.
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Finding myself again
I cried in therapy today. Only a little. I didn’t think I could… I have this fear that if I let the pain too close it will break through the dam and it will be a tsunami of destruction, that I will never be able to pull it back again. But I let it out a little, portioned it, by teaspoons, and somehow I was able to pull it back again, even though a couple of times I felt it swelling up against the dam.
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Child Wisdom
As my former partner and I were, today, trying to stumble our way through one of our first conversations since a painful and at times ugly parting of our romantic connection, his son was pouting over being denied (justifiably!) a particular sugary treat. Eventually the four-year-old crawled onto the bed beside his father and told him, “I’m mad at you, but I still love you.”
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Quote of the Day – August 5, 2012
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese