The Lies
Sir didn’t like my writing.
He said to “be honest this time.”
I was honest.
Fuck everyone.
Now he says to write the lies. Write the lies that are in my head, even if I know they’re lies. He says to write them down.
He’s trying to trick me. He’ll go send this to my doctors and then they’ll know. It’s a trick. He thinks I’m stupid.
Fine. You want lies? Here are yours…
People like me.
I’m a capable person.
I’m a good teacher.
I’m a good patient.
I’m responsible.
I have good social skills.
I know when to shut up.
My principal likes me.
I’m a good friend.
I matter.
My pain matters.
There’s more to life than continuing to breathe.
Other people care about anything other than me continuing to breathe.
Pain matters.
Anyone exists who can help me.
There’s a point.
It will get better.