• Unfucking

    I was told to write about my day.  I’m nervous about that because… because now S is reading and she’ll KNOW stuff!  😀  But I guess she signed on for that when she stuck around all those years ago after I “came out” about who I am.  And I guess she signed on for that when she wanted to read this blog, so… Sorry S!  You can totally cover your eyes if you want to… Today was Unfucking day.  It’s not as exciting (nor as kinky) as it sounds…  A while back we found an app called UFYH which stands for Un-Fuck Your Habitat.  Sir fell instantly in love.  I…

  • Feeling Things

    Hard week.  I keep trying to smile through it, but…  According to the therapist… and the Sir… and probably Dr. Phil (I don’t actually pay attention to things he says… but he probably says this…) simply refusing to feel bad feelings doesn’t actually make the bad feelings go away.

  • Hacked!

    So…  my WordPress account was hacked and infected with malware.  This led to it being shut down until I could correct the problem.  I received the notification about a month ago and didn’t do anything about it (Sir says we’ll be discussing that later…) but I figured it wasn’t as if anybody was going to notice anyway.  And I couldn’t really get up the enthusiasm to deal with it.

  • Yes, Sir

    I just got back from my workout (walking for a mile).  Sir went with me despite the fact that he already did his run earlier this morning. I have been working up to walking this far ever since the pneumonia and the asthma (which followed the pneumonia just to be sure I could NEVER breathe again…).  It’s been discouraging and disheartening.  I’ve had times when I wanted to give up and let myself become progressively more out of shape, become a 600 pound woman and exist only to eat.  I’ve been embarrassed (walking 100 feet and panting out of breath) feeling that the rest of the world was looking at…

  • Differences

    This is an exploration of some of the events in my previous post – Punishment.  If you haven’t read it, be aware that this may reference disturbing concepts or events, please read at your own comfort level.

  • Punishment

    WARNING:  This post is graphic and discusses S/M and D/s punishment that could be upsetting for some readers.  Please read only according to your own comfort level, and know that all activities are engaged in with consent and have built to this level of intensity through a lengthy and intimate building of trust between my Sir and myself.

  • Anger

    Oh anger. I’ve been struggling lately with anger.  I’m just angry all the time.  And disillusioned and bitter and cynical and jaded.  I feel inundated by the massive awfulness of the world and humanity and as if there is no point to anything because… human existence on a whole is just an inescapable welling mud that will drown us all – the good of us along with the bad.

  • Sickerness

    So walking pneumonia rapidly became ambulance ride and tubes in my arms pneumonia.  Terrific.   And it wasn’t my fault!  I took the antibiotics and rested and drank fluids!  I didn’t bring it on!  The ER said that pneumonia is just like that…