Delay in Service

Sorry for the delay in service… Not that this is supposed to be a service for anybody but me, I know, I know… But still…

I was in the hospital. Would have been a lovely vacation if not for, you know, the excruciating pain and the massive doses of pain killers. Which would be fun in themselves if every narcotic known to man didn’t make my stomach try to invert my body via my digestive tract. I guess it’s nice insurance against me ever becoming an addict… : I had about 30 seconds of absolute bliss, in which I cried like a big baby because I was so relieved that this miraculous drug had just washed all the pain out of my body… And then… the pain came back, along with the heaves… And that was the end of the bliss.

I am three days behind on homework, embarrassed to be begging more accommodations from my professors, feeling miserable on the withdrawal of dilaudid (seriously? It was TWO DAYS! I didn’t even enjoy it! Why do I have to have withdrawal??? Damn you, body!) And still having lingering pain, plus sore in EVERY muscle in my body from the combination of tensing and thrashing in agony and puking up whatever my stomach could scrape off its lining every time they gave me another shot of dilaudid. Thank god for it, though, I think I would have thrown myself out a window if something hadn’t at least given me a temporary lessening of that pain, even if it made my stomach throw a full revolt!

What a fucking year.

What a fucking six months!

I’d list it all but I’d be instantly recognizable to anybody who knows me… NOBODY has this much shit go down in life in the same fucking six months! Not even all the same shit, different shit hitting from different directions every time!

Okay maybe people in war zones. Sorry. Don’t mean to be all ethnocentric.

But it’s gotta get better, right?

I won’t even breathe the other possibility because… I’m not even going to think about it.

Service will resume… Eventually…