• Hiding Illness

    It’s a bad one this time.  It comes and it goes… and in between sometimes there’s mania.  This is a “come.” It’s not like it used to be, where there were no islands of sanity at all.  I suppose I’m grateful for that…at other times. I was manic.  Now I’m depressed.  Vacations are good, but hard on the brain.  And then my sleep has been rough.  I’ve been doing everything right, mostly.  My diet isn’t perfect right now… but compared to normal people, my diet is ridiculously good.  It’s probably hilarious that I consider it a “bad day” on my diet when I eat tomatoes and put paprika on my…

  • Communication

    My eating restrictions have abruptly taken a turn towards severe depression and apathy and lack of eating…  Sir sent me to the store on the way home to buy “anything you want to eat, fuck the carbs.”  Once at the store I found this a difficult proposition. This was Sir’s response. We communicate so well…                   Of course, this is ALL I’ve eaten tonight…  He doesn’t know that, yet. Yay, depression.

  • Anger

    Oh anger. I’ve been struggling lately with anger.  I’m just angry all the time.  And disillusioned and bitter and cynical and jaded.  I feel inundated by the massive awfulness of the world and humanity and as if there is no point to anything because… human existence on a whole is just an inescapable welling mud that will drown us all – the good of us along with the bad.

  • Sickerness

    So walking pneumonia rapidly became ambulance ride and tubes in my arms pneumonia.  Terrific.   And it wasn’t my fault!  I took the antibiotics and rested and drank fluids!  I didn’t bring it on!  The ER said that pneumonia is just like that…

  • Low Point

    I know.  Another disappearing act.  I owe some people emails.  I will try to get to them, but hopefully this will hold you all until I do.

  • Candy Bar Wisdom

    K just came in a few minutes ago.  J dropped him off, is doing some shopping, then they’re headed to the mountains for the weekend.  They invited me but I really need to do homework. So he walks in and I am at my computer, where I’ve been sitting since 5 this morning…  Really, haven’t stood up (or hadn’t when he walked in) since 5 this morning.  He takes one look at me and says out loud with quite child-like glee while clapping his hands together (he’s got a silly streak like that) “JAMMIES!”Â