• Grief – Anaphora

    September 3, 2012 / 0 Comments

    Grief Grief Grief is shards of ice flaying my skin. Grief is a cold anchor tearing at my heart. Grief is a heavy shadow, curling round my spine. Grief is a keening shriek scraping on my ribs.

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  • Superstitions

    August 21, 2012 / 0 Comments

    I’m sad tonight.  Not sad like a few nights ago, not sobbing sad, just quietly, tiredly sad.  It’s starting to break all of us.  Tonight I watched a grown man crumble, literally, his legs give out beneath him, fall to the ground on his knees and sob those wrenching sobs that steal your breath and make you wheeze.  He is K’s partner.  They have two children.  They had talked about adopting a third.

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  • Links and Sorrow

    August 18, 2012 / 0 Comments

    I’m struggling.  Some days I think I have hope, I feel the light, I know things will hurt and I also know I will survive and I will live and eventually I will thrive again. Then I have days… like today… when I can’t seem to stop crying.  I hurt.  Everywhere.  I hurt, I hurt, I hurt.  I sit down to write and I cry because I hurt and I don’t want to write and fail and be imperfect because that’s all I can ever do.  So I sit and I cry on my journal and watch the ink run.

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  • Pain (self-injury)

    August 13, 2012 / 0 Comments

    I’ve heard it took 49 days for the Buddha to become awakened. It took me a heck of a lot longer than that, and I only touched it for an instant. But I remember that instant. A flash, but not so dramatic. A flash without fanfare, so soft and subtle that it almost didn’t matter, and that meant everything.

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  • Dying

    August 12, 2012 / 0 Comments

    These are the words of my best friend who has acute leukemia for the third time.  He gave me permission to translate his words to English and to share them here. 

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  • Untitled – Snippet – August 9, 2012

    August 9, 2012 / 2 Comments

    I  studied his face.  His eyes were bright in the guttering candlelight.  His pupils were wide, pushing out all color to their coal blackness.  His skin was faintly darkened by sun and wind-roughened along high cheekbones.  Although his face was lean and worn by years, it maintained an impish hint of youth. 

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  • Penance

    August 7, 2012 / 0 Comments

    Trig pads across the carpet until he stands a long step from David’s feet. David lets his head roll to one side and gazes silently at Trig for a long moment. I look at Trig, too. The muscles in his throat twitch and his eyes seem focused on empty space. For just a second the tip of his tongue flickers over his lower lip then disappears as he presses his lips together, muscles tensing along his jaw.

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