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Helpless – SFD
“Lia…” I set my jaw stubbornly and swipe open the news story. Â People shot, politicians, at a baseball practice, government leaders reaching across the aisle to express sympathy, shared calls for unity and humanity. Sir has already warned me twice. Â I’m not to be on devices today. Â “No screen time,” he said this morning, “You can read, you can clean, you can write, you can lie on the couch and sleep, but no screens.” I had already broken the rule twice.
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This Thing We Do – Shadow 101
Someone asked recently for me to write more about how my particular relationship works. Â Then I was talking to my therapist today about my relationship, and I got into a conversation about the… plane of intensity that my relationship occupies in terms of some general categorizing of BDSM or D/s relationship types – granting that human experience is infinitely diverse and cannot, actually, in any way accurately be categorized. So… Â since it’s all relevant in my mind tonight, Â here’s a top of my head FYI. I tend to categorize in my own head a difference between BDSM and D/s – not everyone differentiates the same way I do, but I…
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Perspectives
I had a rough day yesterday. I made some poor choices about caring for myself and my body. Last night I was punished for those choices. This morning I was… not punished really, because it wasn’t for something I did wrong, but… I was punished. Because I can’t use better words than that because I am still embarassed by this aspect of my life and my relationship. And isn’t that just sad?
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Moments with Sir – Ownership
This is something I wrote for the list I run… I don’t think I ever published it here. Â I think I intended to, but just never felt motivated enough to “clean it up” and make it more neat and tidy for this posting. Then I was talking with my friend S, and telling her about it and I realized I never had shared it here (and thus she hadn’t read it, obviously) and that… it actually illuminates a complicated to explain aspect of my relationship with Sir. Â I don’t know if this will uncomplicate it, but it will, hopefully, demonstrate it… Or not… Â Meh. Â I’m not going to bother cleaning…
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Differences
This is an exploration of some of the events in my previous post – Punishment. If you haven’t read it, be aware that this may reference disturbing concepts or events, please read at your own comfort level.
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Moments with Sir
Me: (curled up on the couch whimpering) Don’t yell at me, I’m in pain! Sir: (breathes deeply as if he can suck patience from the air) Let’s try this again. What hurts? Me: Everything! Sir: That is NOT informative!
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Submissive moment of the day
So… for my few loyal followers who I know (one of you at least) would like a little more in the details department (I’m shy! Seriously! Why is everyone laughing??) a little tidbit. I’m supposed to be in bed right now. Sir just had a conversation with me about it, and I’m not staying up all night, again, I promise Sir! 🙂
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Broken Toys
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Accepting Service
I pick at the chicken salad he just made me. It’s 3 A.M. He realized I hadn’t eaten all day, cast me a searing look and headed for the kitchen – over my stringent objections that I didn’t need anything, he didn’t have to get up, I was fine, I could do it myself… He finally told me to be a good dominant and shut up.
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The Gift
It is the fear in his eyes that makes my heart beat faster. It is the nervous hitch in his breath that quickens mine, it is sensing that he is afraid that makes saliva rise under my tongue. But it is one thing more… The keystone in the dam that keeps it all this side of insane.