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Ouroboros
Maybe this daily blog thing is doing something… Â It’s getting slightly less daunting to sit down every evening to write. Â I’m becoming slightly less obsessed with the need to write something “good” or “worthwhile” and slightly less judgmental of myself when I don’t do those things (which is good, since I haven’t written a single post I consider either of those, yet!) But what I had hoped might happen, might actually be happening. Â I don’t want to jinx it too early or anything, but… in the back of my brain I’ve been ruminating on the next scene of my Black Fire story. Â Nobody freak out, I have net zero words…
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Broken Toys
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The Broken Ones
I had a good day! I know, right? Â About damn time! So, first I had brunch in Boulder with my mom and my brother. Â Nobody said anything stupid and pissed-off making. Â And then we even went and shopped in Peppercorn (which is a stupid expensive awesome quirky housewares shop). Â I love Peppercorn! Then I came home and had dinner with the boys and K and J and their family. Â Then K and J came over here and we all hung out for the evening. Then S texted me on Facebook and we chatted, which was so unexpected and lovely. And now I’m actually feeling all smiley for the first time…
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Broken Toys
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Irritants…
First, if my brother brings up… in the last two weeks of the school year… one more time… how I’m so much better off than people working “other” jobs because I get summers off… There WILL BE BLOOD!!!!!!! Sir had to take the fucking phone away from me today while I was talking to my brother. Â He hung up. Â I had to go for a walk and do breathing exercises before I was allowed to even TEXT my brother back and say my phone had died.
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Nothing Left…
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Shit Day…
That’s today. Â A shit day. Â I’m done. Â I was literally ready to quit my job by 8:00 in the morning. Â Thank God for my supervisor who must have sensed it in the force and stepped in to save my morning… Â Went to lunch feeling pretty good, then the afternoon went to all kinds of hell.
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SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!
CURSE MY NEED TO FINISH ONE BOOK BEFORE BEGINNING ANOTHER!!! Â CURSES!!!!
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Ordinary Evening
So, two nights ago I wrote a technical manual about my relationship and the ways in which it is probably wildly different from the majority of people in relationships. Â And I’ll write more about those specific differences in more detail in future posts. Â But, tonight, I was thinking that despite the underlying framework of our relationship being so different, and the times when it manifests, we obviously look very different from vanilla relationships, it isn’t something that is just constantly manifesting. Â We are really, on a daily basis, probably not very obviously different from anyone else. So, to demonstrate, our evening tonight, which was quite an average weeknight for us.…
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Soothing
It’s not a bunny… but I find this somewhat soothing to stare at, too…Â Mmmmmm, symmetry…
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Anxiety Girl!
This is basically me after I post on this blog… except I can’t, because digital, and… Sir doesn’t let me go back and delete everything every time I post…
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This Thing We Do – Shadow 101
Someone asked recently for me to write more about how my particular relationship works. Â Then I was talking to my therapist today about my relationship, and I got into a conversation about the… plane of intensity that my relationship occupies in terms of some general categorizing of BDSM or D/s relationship types – granting that human experience is infinitely diverse and cannot, actually, in any way accurately be categorized. So… Â since it’s all relevant in my mind tonight, Â here’s a top of my head FYI. I tend to categorize in my own head a difference between BDSM and D/s – not everyone differentiates the same way I do, but I…