• Of Two Minds

    I have to be quick tonight because I’m running late and only have fifteen minutes to write. I’m running late because a ridiculous number of incidents occured resulting in me not leaving work until 5 (I start at 7), coming home, eating dinner, then talking to my mom on the phone for an hour and a half… Which is fine… But it messed up my whole evening schedule. So, I asked Sir to exempt me from my writing tonight (he’s in lockdown over our routines lately after me freaking out so thoroughly – and it’s been helping… but still…) He contemplated it because… I have good reasons.  I had a…

  • Settling

    Last night was, obviously, rough, but I talked to several good friends today and it felt so good to just… to reach out… and meet outstretched hands in return.  It is still alien to me to share my feelings, to accept compassion, to… talk about… my real self.  But it was positive and healing, and for those people and others who are probably wondering, I thought I would update today.  Also, I’m trying to challenge myself to write every day.  Writing a journal/blog post isn’t exactly my ideal of “writing every day” but I suppose when my baseline is “writing never” I will have to accept that any bar at…

  • Moments with Sir – Ownership

    This is something I wrote for the list I run… I don’t think I ever published it here.  I think I intended to, but just never felt motivated enough to “clean it up” and make it more neat and tidy for this posting. Then I was talking with my friend S, and telling her about it and I realized I never had shared it here (and thus she hadn’t read it, obviously) and that… it actually illuminates a complicated to explain aspect of my relationship with Sir.  I don’t know if this will uncomplicate it, but it will, hopefully, demonstrate it… Or not…  Meh.  I’m not going to bother cleaning…

  • Hacked!

    So…  my WordPress account was hacked and infected with malware.  This led to it being shut down until I could correct the problem.  I received the notification about a month ago and didn’t do anything about it (Sir says we’ll be discussing that later…) but I figured it wasn’t as if anybody was going to notice anyway.  And I couldn’t really get up the enthusiasm to deal with it.

  • Differences

    This is an exploration of some of the events in my previous post – Punishment.  If you haven’t read it, be aware that this may reference disturbing concepts or events, please read at your own comfort level.

  • He’s not your friend.

    K skyped with me this afternoon briefly.  When they can get into the city they get on skype, otherwise they email every week, which is nice, but sometimes it just feels like they’re so far away… Which they ARE.

  • Good News Sadness

    I got good news today.  About time, huh?  Cause we all know the universe OWES us and life is just one big math equation that eventually has to even out on both sides, right?  Yeah…

  • Candy Bar Wisdom

    K just came in a few minutes ago.  J dropped him off, is doing some shopping, then they’re headed to the mountains for the weekend.  They invited me but I really need to do homework. So he walks in and I am at my computer, where I’ve been sitting since 5 this morning…  Really, haven’t stood up (or hadn’t when he walked in) since 5 this morning.  He takes one look at me and says out loud with quite child-like glee while clapping his hands together (he’s got a silly streak like that) “JAMMIES!”Â